i’ve seen a lot of really messed up images in my time on the internet, weird fetish shit, even a few IRL gore images but nothing. NOTHING evokes such a deep seated, gut wrenching fear in me like this image of the fucking water slide from Action Park with the loop in it
hey what the fuck
So you can just build whatever you want for a theme park huh
Van Helsing: Cleric, Grave Domain. Probably the easiest choice. As a doctor he’s the party’s principal healer, he’s the one who keeps whipping out holy symbols and prayers, and he has all the know-how on identifying and dealing with all things Undead. Also Van Helsing using Path to the Grave would be incredibly badass.
Arthur Holmwood: Ranger, Beast Master Conclave. This one’s a gimme. We already know he hunts regularly, it’s the pastime of choice for rich lordly types, and he spent one notable scene summoning and skillfully handling some dogs.
Quincey Morris: Fighter, Cavalier Archetype. I definitely knew he was the party’s fighter, but it wasn’t until I did some digging that I found out there was a fighter type with an emphasis on mounted combat. My man is a COWBOY. Admittedly Matt Mercer’s Gunslinger homebrew is also tempting, but since it has more emphasis on tinkering, I thought the Cavalier perks would fit Quincey a little more.
John Seward: Cleric, Mind Domain. This man gave me SO MUCH TROUBLE because everybody else slotted so neatly into their classes and I could not for the life of me figure out what fit him. I finally landed on cleric since he’s the second doctor in the party, and when I did a little more googling I found out that mind clerics were a thing, which is both incredibly cool and fitting for the guy who has given me psychic damage multiple times.
Jonathan Harker: Barbarian, Path of the Berserker. He’s just. He angy. When he swung a machete at Dracula and stole his lunch money I was like “Yeah that was a Reckless Attack. He definitely had advantage on that.” Once his wife got the chomp all bets were off. He Would Like To Rage.
Mina Harker: Bard, College of Eloquence. I debated between this and College of Lore, but I landed on eloquence because this woman’s charisma is high as fuck, she grants inspiration every time she opens her mouth, and she seems to know exactly what to say to whoever she talks to, from her husband to Lucy’s suitor squad to Renfield. Let’s be real, she united the whole group single-handed and probably would have charmed her way into being the face of the party if Van Helsing’s paternalistic Victorian sensibilities hadn’t kicked in. Unfortunately she also has one level in warlock with an undead patron she doesn’t want, but on the bright side she can cast Eldritch Blast now.
imagine if aliens found the dead body of a human being exploded in the vacuum of space and they started making fun of the mutilated corpse calling it “splatter alien” and saying it was the ugliest alien in the whole galexy. and then made stuffed animals of it to sell to their alien kids. that’s what happened on this planet to the blob fish
